Cast of Characters: My Biological Mother

Annie Marie Russell, youngest daughter of the late Oscar Boyd Russell and the late Matilda Snow Cheek Russell, died December 15, 2008 from complications of Alzheimer's. Her memorial service was held January 31, 2009.

“Sixty years ago today, Ann Marie turned sixteen and one week later, she gave birth to me," were my opening remarks.

One day when I was eight years old, Mommy (Jessie Butler) took me into her bedroom for a private talk. She explained about adoption and that she and daddy had adopted me. She explained about fifteen-year-old girls, young love and unchecked passion that sometimes became a ‘mistake’. She explained that some couples couldn’t have babies. She explained that fifteen-year-old girls are not prepared to raise a child on their own. God had provided adoption to help in situations like this. She told me that my birth mother was someone that I knew. My birth mother was Ann Marie Russell, who had come to visit us sometime. From that point on, I called her Ann Marie.

It is just this year (2009), following Ann Marie’s death, that I realized that I have had a shadow-life, as a result of that conversation. The characters of my shadow-life immediately began being introduced, when I was eight years old. As an adopted person, I would always have the family I had known since birth. They loved me and they were there for me; they were legal and real, never to be taken away. However, there were biological relatives, who could never be acknowledged in my mainline life. And in my shadow-life? Sometimes acknowledged, sometimes not! They could pass on the street and not speak.

Some people that became characters in my shadow-life, in addition to their roles in my mainline life:

• Edna and James Waters, from church, were Ann Marie’s sister and brother-in-law. Ann Marie had come from North Carolina to stay with them, while she was pregnant with me. They knew mommy and daddy wanted children, so they suggested that the Butlers adopt me. Edna and James and their five children were residents of both of my mainline life and my shadow-life.

• Sam and Mary Russell, also from church, were Ann Marie's brother and sister-in-law. Another couple added to my shadow-life’s cast. They had no children. Mary was killed in a freaky, bizarre auto accident. Sam later married Sadie, who I do not think that I have ever met. After, I had graduated high school and left Lakewood, they had a daughter, named Sandra.

• James and Mary Helen Russell lived across the street from us on Ashley Avenue. He was Ann Marie’s brother! They had five boys and one girl, Cynthia. Their children were younger than me, so we were not friends. In children’s lives 3 or 4 years seems like a generation. However, their children were the ages of my brothers, so the boys were in school together; played street games and sports together; and tortured poor Cynthia together.

• Louise was Ann Marie’s other sister. She and her husband lived in New York and had visited us, with Ann Marie on different occasions. Louise later married Randy Patterson, moved to Miami and they raised three sons.

This is strange, but Grandmother Matilda Russell existed larger than life in my mainline life. She had been hidden from me, but after my knowledge of the adoption, she gained equal footing with my other two grandmothers. She sent birthday and Christmas cards. She brought or sent packages of raw peanuts. Yes, brought! She would walk across the street from her son, James’ house to visit the Butlers and there was always a little package for me.